This is Not an Art Blog
Please do not nominate me for anything in that category of blog awards. Leave that to the experts. I think I should be allowed to post about my artistic and martial arts skills from time to time though, without really crossing any major lines.
It starts with a little mishap the other day where I accidentally knocked over a folding chair in front of my family. I’m not sure if it was the Buster Keaton, the Jackie Chan, or the Hulk Holgan in me that made me try to pull this off as a sort of slapstick fall, leading into a martial arts turned WWF chair-throwing move.
Once I had picked the chair up and slammed it to the ground, I proceeded to give it a flying hammer.
“Look Laylee,” I said, slapping my hand to my elbow and jumping as high into the air as my post-Magoo body would allow. “This is called a flying hammer.”
Dan, who believes that knowledge is power, that with great power comes great responsibility, and that the responsibility of knowing how to administer the flying hammer is too much for a three-year-old in possession of a younger brother to handle, advised me against carrying on with the lesson.
What does he know? Who wears the yellow belt in this family?
That’s right.
It’s me.
(Yes I realize that is the ugliest picture I’ve ever posted of myself.)
Alas, once more his wise logic won out over my crazed need to teach our children WWF maneuvers.
But his victory does not mean that Laylee doesn’t know which parent bears the swirling fists of fury at el rancho de los Darings.
Laylee and I were having a friendly coloring smackdown the other day. We drew pictures of each other (Although Laylee wanted to fill in her own face. I cannot take credit for her amazing face drawing skills. I think she spent an hour just shading her upper lip.)
What do you notice about these pictures, besides that her drawing of me is better than mine of her, that my hair is actually orange and green (I usually fix it in Photoshop before posting), that her skin is the color of cherry-flavored mud and that my ears are as big as my feet?
That’s right. She was somehow able to capture in the wax medium the incredible speed and reflexes of my swirling fists of steel and fury.
I don’t mean to brag, but my friends do tell me that I am quite skilled at mixing it up in the ring. I won’t even go into my performance in cage matches.
Grammy Says:
I wish I could have been there to see that little maneuver. It’s somehow reminiscent of the elementary school trick of flinging oneself out of trees. I’m sure Laylee was impressed. You are the mostest! I always have fun when I’m with you. Love you, TONS!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 5:23 am
Alissa Says:
be sure to lay the SMACKDOWN. someday, I may get around to posting the lovely painting my daughter did the other day… we apparently live in a world with 2 suns. one regular, the other blue.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 7:18 am
Woman with kids Says:
I’ll trade your swirling fists of fury for our approximately 1″ wide by 11″ tall house. It’s a little squished in here.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 7:23 am
Regina Clare Jane Says:
I made it all the way up to brown belt- then I turned 40 and I thought- what the heck am I doing here?! I still have all my boards that I broke wrapped in their respective belts- yes, I was young and powerful- once… kick butt, Kathryn!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 8:11 am
Stephanie Says:
That’s funny.
(Can I please get the award for worst commentor?)
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 8:18 am
Rachelle Says:
LOL! That just makes my day. I so love the whirling arms of death and destruction. Can you clean that fast too? Do they work like that? Because I may have to beef up or something if I can clean my house fast with arms like that.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 8:19 am
Margaret Says:
“By the power of Greyskull - I HAVE THE POWER!” Yes, with great power comes great responsibility - and greater fashion sense. Evidence: Your picture and Prince Adam / Heman’s furry loincloth.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 9:37 am
Moonface Says:
that was funny - and i love the picture of you, ready to take on an opponent.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 10:20 am
Shannon (sentimental) Says:
No kidding, wish I could have seen it. I am loving the picture though.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 10:49 am
Linsey Says:
I think you look positively smashing in that photo… I can totally picture you putting the smackdown on a chair. Way to go!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 11:12 am
Chilihead2 Says:
Hmmmm. New super power, huh? You can now get a great parking space and threaten anyone who tries to take it.
My t/f meme is up and I also have a feed now!
http://chilihead2.blogspot.com
Chilihead
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
ShelahBooksIt Says:
Love the pictures!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Lei Says:
Lmbo… like me trying to teach my 6 yr. old tae bo! Never forget that yours is definitely a skill to be proud of ;-).
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
bowersita Says:
I can’t believe DYD put the kabash on the WWF manuvers. And I always thought you were the sensible, responsible one… Bahh ha ha. Didn’t you tell him you were the pig wrestling champion at the Calagry rodeo, and that you are a professional and know what you are doing? Love the blog.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
HLH Says:
snicker snicker, I love the spinning fists!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
emlouisa Says:
I love the shading on the upper lip. Very nice.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
Lauren Says:
Your daughter’s arms, they are beginning to take after yours, no? I’d love to see the actual green and orange hair instead of the PhotoShop version. Please.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Bethany Says:
I am thoroughly enjoying this blog. You crack me up!
It’s really nice to read after a long day of work!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Kelly Says:
you and the yellow belt made me laugh! (in a good way though…)
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
JennyBee Says:
the flying hammer in hammer pants, no less.
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Nutella Says:
Those are beautiful pictures. My ears are the same size as my feet as well, but my hands are bigger than all of my other features according to my little cousin
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Heather Says:
Love this post and Laylee Lou! And you!
[Reply]
Posted on February 13th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
chris Says:
I love the picture!
Were you shouting, “You want a piece of me?”
[Reply]
Posted on February 14th, 2006 at 11:08 am
andrea Says:
Hilarious! Wish I’d seen this *before* writing my Valentine’s Day post, though, and I would’ve promised to be more arty and less snarky for all your fans who decided to take a peek.
PS Laylee’s art skills are equal only to your martial arts skills. I’m going to run away now…
[Reply]
Posted on February 14th, 2006 at 11:53 am