Yesterday evening as Laylee evacuated her bowels prior to retiring for the night to her bedchamber, she informed me that she was “goin’ to the pod.”
Me:Â Oh, really?
Laylee: Yeah, I’m goin’ to the “pod” because, well, I’m sitting on the pod-EE. So, it’s like I’m goin’ to the “pod.” Yeah, it’s like that.Â
I will grant you that around our abode, I frequently speak highly of Dan’s “bod” and it only stands to reason that over time, she would pick up this colloquial abbreviation and begin to incorporate it into casual speech with her peers. However, she seems quite puerile to be adapting adult lexicon in such a creative fashion.
On that self-same day, she had me quite enraptured with a detailed treatise on the etiquette of flatulence and the spasmodic ejection of stomach gases. According to Laylee’s hypothesis, the idiom “excuse me” must only be directed at a specific personage if the nature of the emission is noxious in its pungency. Otherwise, the plea for pardon should merely be expressed to the world as a whole, no actual apology being needful as no one person has received harm.
Now see my theory is you only say excuse me if it’s obvious that it was you. If there is more than one other person there you just look at one of them with widened eyes, therefore casting the doubt toward them. This is where toddlers come in handy because you can outwardly blame them and they don’t care, plus everyone thinks it’s cute when it’s a toddler.
Babies make great scapegoats too – you’re generally holding them, so even if the direction of origin is obvious you can still easily shift the blame. Just practice your Slightly Surprised Yet Amused face in the mirror a few times and you’re good to go.
I am a terrible liar and dissolve in giggles when it’s “me”
I think it’s the result of not having any brothers.
One of the good things about running a home daycare is the ability to always blame it on somebody else, even if a parent walks in. 🙂
ONLY you could write this.
Good night nurse! I can’t wait to see what Laylee throws your way when it comes to dating, grades and balancing a checkbook.
This post totally cracked me up! And I blame my husband because it usually is him. The kids totally believe me and they will brook no refusals on his behalf. They have been the “specific personages near the emission of noxious pungency” one too many times…
Pod sounds like the latest slang, very hip
My head hurts. And I can’t find my dictionary. I need to go spend some quality time in the “pod.”
I’m with Mo-MI. I’m going to have to stop reading your blog now because there are just too many big words for me here. Or maybe you could link them to their definitions for me. I’d really appreciate it. I don’t want to miss out on learning fun new poddee words. Thanks!
Wow. I see a whole future for you in writing “The World according to Laylee” books. Years of interesting perspectives to come!
Ah, pod-y humor is always worthy of a blog or two. At our house, we have a rule that one’s excuse-me must always match if not exceed the volume of the belch that preceeded it. My kids have suggested this rule ought to apply to the other kind of emissions as well. In that case, the SBD’s (silent but deadly’s) require no apology at all.
Props to Laylee for sussing out the finer details of this simultaneously discourteous and necessary social interaction. And thanks to DYM for sharing with the rest of us.
She is going to LOVE these stories when she’s older.
The Pod – so chic!
sounds like you’ve been reading ahead on the “word-a-day” calendar.
interesting that she has ignored teh “T” in potty and assumed that she is using the “poddy”, and therefore going to the “pod” as aposed to the “pot”. Which could have it’s own humour.
I think Laylee is correct. I’m sure I read that once in my Emily
PootPost Etiquette book.You are wild. I need a dictionary to read you!