first date: “so, how many kids do you want? how do you feel about the name emmanuel for a son?”

first time TALKING to the guy: “so, what would you do if you met a guy who you wanted to marry who lived, say, in new orleans and was in the army?” he was in the air force out of georgia. he went home and told his family he’d met the woman he was going to marry and they bought me “achieving a celestial marriage” and some other temple marriage book. he married someone else two months later. imagine my surprise when, six or seven years later, we ended up in the same ward 3000 miles away from where we met. sigh. THAT was fun. even more fun when his wife ran around telling everyone that i dated her husband and almost married him. he’s not the type of guy you’d brag about, even if any of that had been true.

“your middle name is elizabeth?! that’s perfect! when elizabeth and i got engaged, i had her name engraved inside the ring, so it’ll still work!”

Should have known when he said: “you and I have something better than what 95% of all married people have, but I’m the type who is always going to be looking for that extra 5%”. Why oh why I stayed 7 years after that is a mystery.

I swear it really happened. At the time, I asked my sister if she noticed anything weird, and the two of us watched the situation furtively from the stairs. At one point, my boyfriend actually GIGGLED at my male cousin, and my sis said, “Oh, yep, there. He just flamed out.”

Nicest guy in the world, though. And my cousin is a good looking guy, I guess. At least my boyfriend had good taste.

Oh well. Shall I print this comment list and take them with me everywhere I go on dates in the future?

“Well, you don’t come from the best family…” [in this case, meaning your parents are divorced]… “and I want to go [do the nun thing].”

Go for it. You clearly have an excellent understanding of doctrine.

But I’m not bitter. It’s funny. I got engaged to my wife not long after I broke up with this girl, and everytime I saw her after the breakup I was carrying bouquets of flowers for my then fiancée. Ah, sweet, indirect revenge…

My clue should have been when he tells you that he finally got the nerve up to talk to the teller at his bank that you know he thinks is cute. You know what he really means is that he asked her out, and when you ask what he thought of to say to her he admits it. How do you feel? Proud that of him. (Really.) That was a weird moment and should have been a clue about my feelings for him, but no. Sigh. So glad I’m no longer 19.

Or how about he tells you over and over that you don’t know how romantic he is and that you are going to be surprised when he does propose… but he never does. I had no clue at 23 either.

Really the only thing these guys had in common was that they were older than me. I waited almost 10 years to marry my husband (not counting the 5 year dry spell between Mr. Romantic and meeting future hubby). He’s 8 years younger than me. I don’t know if that means that I was confused about the age of a guy I should be with or just needed to be patient, but either way it worked!