It Still Kills

Last week I ran out of deodorant. Yes sir, I did and I wore Dan’s for 3 days and I totally smelled like a dude. Three years ago I bought a billion sticks of my beloved Dove anti-perspi/deo and I assumed it would always be there. Suddenly last week, it was gone. I’d blown the whole wad and not even realized it was dwindling.

So after 3 days of wondering why Dan hadn’t left for work yet, I headed to the grocery establishment. One certain flavor of Dove was on clearance for “immediate sale” so I stocked up. There is a reason it was marked for immediate sale at half the manufacturer’s suggested retail price. It smells like… Well, the best I can say about it is that it smells slightly better than B.O. So for the next 4 sticks-worth, I’ll be using much of the fruity lotions to balance out the de-stenchifying stench.

Each stick has one of these on the top, for freshness and to administer torture. If you buy 4 sticks at once, I would suggest putting the unopened deodorants away in a far away cupboard. You should not trust yourself to remember which one has the razor blade removed and attempt to apply it hastily in the dark, rubbing as hard as possible so you’ll use it up faster so you’ll feel justified buying a new scent.