Rabid Demonic Cows

he's a witchMagoo’s favorite new book is Rabid Demonic Cows by Margaret Wise Brown, originally published under the title The Big Red Barn. His verbal skills are burgeoning along with his animal impressions, particularly if he’s doing an impression of… a rabid demonic cow… or a dinosaur. They sound pretty much the same.

He can speak in short full sentences but prefers to shake his head wildly and say, “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,” while frantically grasping for the item you’re offering him. He reminds me of Tom.

He wants to use the potty, but not really. He wants to sit on the potty wearing nothing but a furrowed brow and a smile. The combination is unnerving. I am afraid of his equipment which points ominously upwards as he sits with his chubby legs smooshed together. He has yet to unleash a stream of any kind but when he does, I may need a Swiffer with a longer handle.

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15 Responses to Rabid Demonic Cows

  1. Jeana says:

    Too funny.

    And, for your own protection, aim his weapon for him until he learns to do it himself. That there thing’s loaded, even if he’s not shootin’ yet.

  2. Farm Wife says:

    Wow, and I thought B.B. was the only one who did demonic animal impressions.

    You might want to work on easing those chubby legs apart just enough to point that equipment down…if he unleashes in his own face, he may give up potty training for good…and I doubt his prom date will appriciate that.

  3. Sketchy says:

    So hear ya, I’m telling you invest in the potty chair with the boy equipment block you’ll all feel better. Oh and then you can take pictures without being totally pervy…

  4. Erin says:

    Oh the joys of boys and potty training. I think all of us mothers of boys learn from a young age that those parts are dangerous. Gotta love the splash guards on potty seats. It is quiet an interesting experience being a girl and trying to teach a boy to use the toilet and not make a mess, the splash guards are nice because you don’t need to worry once they get big enough to use it on their own. And trying to teach them to go standing up when they are big enough, that’s pretty comical too. Have fun! You’re in for a exciting time.

  5. sarah k. says:

    Nooo! He’s not really potty training, is he? Zeeb is almost 3 and still refuses. I can’t take it anymore!

  6. Goslyn says:

    I second the splash guard idea. Gotta tuck the equiptment behind the guard, then you’re good to go.

    Sorry to hear my play is opening at your house too. (Thanks for the link, though!)

  7. Kimberly says:

    I dread potty training soooo much. And I have girls.

  8. Shalee says:

    And lots of Lysol wipes.

    I’d start investing in that company if I were you. I sure wish I had!

  9. Heffalump says:

    Maybe you should invest in one of those police riot shields. I took the liberty of doing some research on it and I think a large rectangular shield with a reverse curve would suit your needs nicely. That way any “ammunition” that comes your way would be deflected the opposite direction.
    http://www.bulletproofme.com/new%20download%20images/Riot-Shield-Capture.jpg
    Maybe you could have something personal put on it to replace the word POLICE…How about DARING!

  10. surcie says:

    Because I feared my son’s equipment, I made a point of buying a potty with the biggest ol’ deflector I could find. Deflector, schmeflector! It made no difference whatsoever. Clearly, I needed a riot shield.

  11. Lei says:

    rabid demonic cows… rofl! and i can relate to the combo of furrowed brow and big smile… that is my 2 yr. old to a “T”!

  12. Angela says:

    oh man, that last paragraph is hilarious.
    My almost 2 year old has the same potty-pose, furrowed brow and smile. What is that?

  13. Vicki says:

    What a laugh I’ve had reading your post, and the comments. I’m a Mother of 2 girls, and I’ve had my share of woes as well…Including when my oldest, who was visiting her biological at the time, decided she was tired of waiting for “Daddy” to take her potty, so she pulled down her pants, and went in the livingroom floor…Or so I heard…*LOL*

  14. I love that kid so dang much!

  15. Cousin Deb says:

    Having potty trained 4 boys….mostly, I do have to say that I am grateful that time has passed. I probably purchased 3 different potties and used non of them. My boys looked huge on them and of course there was the “equipment issue. Pee barrier or not the tragectory always looked straight ahead. So the boys learned to go potty stradled backwards on the regular loo. It was much easier to aim down and if there was an aim issue it was not at me. It does mean having to completely disrobe from waist down, but we survived. And on the subject of aim…find an old bath towel and wrap it around the base of the toilet until he is 18. It will save you from unwanted fluids drying up UNDER the toilet. Have Fun!!!!!

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