I Just Stepped on a Slug in My Bare Feet

Last night I got 3.5 hours of sleep. Everything seems worse than it probably really is. I wonder if I get more sleep tonight, will the slug guts be automatically cleansed from my foot?

Here are some reasons my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night:

1. I decided to try potty-training Magoo today. We’re still at the stage where I ask him hundreds of times whether his McQueen pants are wet or dry, he says dry, we high-five, then he looks down perplexedly at the puddle gathering around his feet. Where did all that yellow water come from? Hrm…

2. My right hip is sort of frozen so it hurts to unload the dishwasher. My physical therapist says it’s good if the pain is localized, rather than shooting up my spine and down my leg so I guess this is a good thing and should not be on my list of reasons why my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night.

3. I JUST MESSED UP MY LIST OF REASONS my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night and now I have to start over:

1. I got a call from my 7-month-pregnant friend this afternoon. I was still groggy from a nap that made me feel worse than I had beforehand. She was waiting for me because I was supposed to meet her at another friend’s house. The other friend was not there to meet her. I was not there to meet her. Her car had a flat tire so she had walked her pregnant belly to our meeting spot so she wouldn’t let us down. Neither of us were there to meet her because… um… I feel like a piece of unreliable cheese.

2. The trash bag ripped open and rancid peach juice spilled everywhere.

3. Dan’s working a bazillion hours of overtime this week. I like Dan.

4. I think I owe email to about 50 people.

5. I just found out that the main character in my book club book received a prophecy that she would die by falling off a tall cliff and now she’s living at the top of a tall cliff.

6. My blue flannel pajama pants with the little white clouds all over them are dirty and so are all my other clothes.

7. Yarn and houseplants were on sale today at Fred Meyer. Hencely and thus, my entire grocery budget for the week is shot and I believe it’s only Tuesday.

8. Does your house ever get so covered in junk that you feel silly calling it messy because it’s such a ridiculous understatement but you don’t know that you’ll ever have the time or the desire in the foreseeable future to shovel it clean? Mine does.

9. My writing feels less not incoherent than usual.

10. Did I mention I stepped on a slug with my bare feet?

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