Protuberance Thompson

We’ve got 2 months left and we still have no name for this little chica. We’re getting more and more creative with our names. We look for them everywhere. Movie credits are fertile hunting grounds for names, especially if you want to name your kid something like Ishi Tomahachigok Thompson or Matt “The Mutt” Thompson.

Driving back from our vacation we looked at road signs and business names. Wendy, Denny, Schwab, and Chevron could all be possible candidates. At one point I read aloud a sign that said, “Stay Off the Median.”

“Meedy-Anne,” I suggested, “That’s not a bad name.” Dan gave me the shifty eye-roll. Well, it’s better than “Rest Stop” or “Bump.”

Lately I’ve been referring to her as “the protuberance” although for no splickable reason I pronounce it “protRuberance.” It just sounds better and everyone knows what I’m talking about.

“I can’t push my stool up to the computer because of the protRuberance.”

“The protRuberance makes it difficult for me to cook without burning my navel.”

“My protRuberance is going nuts. Just look at it wiggle and jump!”

I work so hard to choose names for my kids that are beautiful to me but not popular in the general population. I want to be unique without being crazy. I’ve realized lately that almost everyone is trying to do the very same thing so if I find a name that’s really unusual and beautiful, chances are it will be THE name 3 years from now and my little Adeline will join a sea of Adelines heading into elementary school in the next decade.

What I should really do is stick to names that were so over-used during my childhood that none of the moms in our generation want to use them. Then my kid will be totally unique. Or I could just name her Protuberance. It has a nice ring to it, sort of like Constance only more visually evocative.

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