Pirates Don’t Read

Today was Pirate Day at Magoo’s elementary school. Because why? Because why not!? Incidentally, it was also Bring a Stuffed Animal That’s Small Enough to Sit on Your Desk Without Being A Distraction Day at Laylee’s elementary school. Because why?
Because stuffed animals that small must really exist.

It’s days like this that I ask myself why Laylee and Magoo are at different elementary schools. Last night was STEM night for one of the schools. Last year it was math night but this is Twenty to the Twelve, yo. We’re all about STEM. Then tonight is a costume ball at the other school. There are two science fairs, two reflections nights, two PTAs, two different parent-teacher conferences in two different cities. It’s my favorite.

Anyway, as Magoo was getting ready to leave, he started removing things from his backpack and throwing them overboard.

“I’m not taking my nook to school for pirate day! I would look so stupid! Because, you know, pirates don’t really read.”

I did not know that.

“Oh, MAN!” he continued, pulling the Pokemon cards from his backpack. “Pirates don’t play Pokemon cards.” He gave me a knowing smile and shook his head.

Now, this I did know. I have never met a Pokemon-playing pirate. Uno – maybe. Go Fish – likely. But Pokemon – never. We need to keep this authentic.

Apparently a few things pirates DO are:

-Ride on a big yellow school bus, wearing a polyester backpack and a soccer shirt under their pirate vest

-Yell “ARRRRR” at three-year-olds until they cry

-Refuse to keep their pirate clothes on if all the other kids at the bus stop are dressed like civilians

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