Photobomb

It felt like a betrayal of pencils and chalk and teachers’ mugs full of bad coffee. This year, for the first time ever, I did not order school pictures for my kids.

I have a camera larger than a VW Bug, I thought. I’ve totally got this.

We haven’t had great luck with school pictures in the past and they cost more money than my collection of Boy Band MP3s, which, not to brag, is extensive. It was a win-win because I could save money, get better pictures, and feel like a sort of awesome hipster photographer mom because I took them myself with my own neck-strapped paparazzi device.

It ended up that the pictures were WAY cheaper than usual. The cost was zero dollars because I did not take them. Oops.

There are pictures of my kids on my cell phone so we will remember that they were alive this year, just not with perfectly coiffed hair or facial expressions that say, Someone just told me to smile while I’m surrounded by big white umbrellas and a mottled blue vinyl backdrop.

Well, Dan knew we weren’t doing pictures so he was confused when he came home from work one day and found a school photo package envelope sitting on the kitchen counter with Magoo’s name on it.

“What’s this?” he said, picking it up. “I thought we weren’t ordering school pictures.”

photobomb

“Wait. What? Why are all of Magoo’s school pictures actually pictures of you?”

PHOTOBOMB!

“I snuck into Magoo’s school, waited in the photographer’s black supply trunk for hours with nothing but the birds, angry, angry birds to keep me company. I bided my time and just as the photographer commanded him to smile, I burst from concealment and jumped in front of the camera. ‘Boo-ya! PHOTO-BOMBED, CHUMP!’”

“No, seriously. Why are you in his pictures?”

“They take pictures of all the school volunteers so they can make us name badges and they… um… sent mine home with Magoo so they had to put his name on the package.”

I think Dan found that explanation slightly disappointing. Didn’t we all?

“Oh,” he said.

But, the good news is, I do have my own child ID cards now from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. So, if Dan ever loses me in a mosh pit or a sea of clearance purses at Macy’s, he’ll have an easier time helping the police track me down.

photobomb2

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7 Responses to Photobomb

  1. Crystal says:

    Lol!

  2. KathleenNorris says:

    I think we need to start a Missing and exploited mothers group….just sayin’

  3. Krista Golden says:

    That’s hilarious!!! Nice pic :)

  4. Lindsay says:

    SO funny. Glad you’ll be safe if something happens! :)

  5. Andrea says:

    That’s awesome. I didn’t do school photos this year (or last year or the year before) either. And I still have yet to take this years photos. I say it’s not too late as long as the school year is still going. Thanks for making me not feel so bad.

  6. David says:

    My wife is an elementary school teacher and this year she came home with sheet of those missing person photos too. I keep them by my desk so I’ll have them handy in case she ever goes missing.

  7. Paige says:

    LOL, wouldn’t that be funny if you really had photobombed it? Well, not funny enough to warrant all of that waiting…and your audience wouldn’t be big enough (and probably wouldn’t think it was funny). Ok, so the fake story was funnier than the reality would be.
    Anywho, my Mom heard your drops of awesome in RS on Sunday and emailed it to me, and I’ve been reading some of your other posts. So hi.
    My real comment is that I think the same thing about not getting school pictures (they sent home a sample with my daughter, and honestly it made her look homely and maybe doped up). I do take the pictures, but I do it at birthday time– each child gets a one-on-one photoshoot and then we go out for a special treat (their choice). So far we all love it, and the pictures are WAY better than school pics (if I do say so myself. Sometimes the pictures are actually a couple of months off from the birthday, because I had twins last year and was busy, but I eventually get around to it.
    In fact, my last post on my blog is the most recent photoshoot, and I’m doing a giveaway…if you vote maybe you’ll win since I don’t have many who read my blog : )
    Holy long comment, Batman. Long story short: thanks for the fun blog.

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