Feats of Strength – an Attempt at a Productive Third-life Crisis

I am 34… I think. I don’t have that many fingers and toes so it’s hard to accurately calculate but I’m pretty sure I’m a lot months younger than Dan, who is 35, so I will say I’m 34. Let’s just call it “early 30’s.”

The way I figger, given that I plan to live to at least a hundred years of age, that means I’m about a third of the way through my life and nowhere near a third of the way through the mental list of things I want to accomplish in my life. If you throw my increasing age and possible decrepitness into the mix, I think it would behoove me to do as many of the things on said intangible list before my fortieth birthday as possible. You know? While I can still chew my own food.

This list has been on my mind and I thought it was time I wrote it down, considering I am planning to check off one of the largest items tomorrow morning.

I am competing in a triathlon. Competing is a harsh word. I am going to complete triumphantly a sprint triathlon without injuring myself or any other person.

I’ve been training for months with my friend Stephanie, who is faster than me at swimming, faster than me at running, and who became faster than me at biking when she discovered that shifting gears actually makes a difference. Dang the do-gooder spin class friend who explained this to her!

My original goal for the tri was to finish in something better than last place. Then we looked at the finishing times for last year and my new goal is to finish the tri unscathed. We shall see.

Below is a partial list of other Feats of Strength, Skill, and Whimsy I hope to pull off in the next five and a half years:

1. Fake sky dive (I promised Dan I would never truly sky dive so this will have to suffice unless he dies before me and then the promise is void. I will wait at least one week from his funeral before suiting up and jumping out of a plane.)
2. Sing and play guitar in front of someone other than my own family members
3. Publish a book
4. Digitize and organize our family photos and videos
5. Direct a documentary film and enter it in a festival, hosted by Not My Mom
6. Complete a thorough study of the Bible with supporting documents and commentaries.
7. Scuba dive at night (happening later this summer)
8. Ride in a hot air balloon
9. Drive a car over 120 miles per hour
10. Build a piece of furniture
11. Visit Europe with Dan
12. Design and sew an article of clothing for myself without a pattern
13. Hike (at least partially) Mount Rainier
14. Visit every library in King County
15. Hike to the peak of Mount Timpanogos
16. Do an amazing act of service, something I’ll never forget
17. Teach my kids to flush the toilet

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