Daring Young Mom

… but I just did it again!
Can I get an empathetic cringe across the interwebs?

Over at Parenting I’m talking about surprises.
For Valentine’s Day I was surprised with a fabulous day of love, topped off with a nice case of food poisoning. Dan and I are both laying around in yorchville today and I’m afraid to eat anything because I don’t care to know what it will [...]

It’s okay that I don’t have the strength to shower because I’ve also lost my sense of smell.
It’s okay that I don’t have the strength to work out because all food has lost its appeal for me.
It’s okay that I’m totally breaking out because I have a nice red nose to match the nice [...]

We were driving by the animal hospital the other day when Laylee pointed excitedly, “Look mom. Look. That’s the vegetarian. If JackAgain is ever sick, we’ve GOTTA take him to the vegetarian!”
It seems reasonable. They’d probably get along okay, seeing as they have similar dietary restrictions.
This morning I woke up with [...]

They’re dead, all dead. I left them for 2 weeks in a cold house with no food source and now they’re gone, gone for good. It was an intentional mass gnat-ocide but I find that I’m strangely lonely for the pitter patter of their little wings, for the way they would lovingly nuzzle [...]

I do not have the mental or physical energy, nor do I smell good enough to write anything tonight. My one true deodorant for the past 4 years suddenly stopped working a few days ago. The first day I couldn’t remember if I’d worn any or not. The second day I was [...]

Dan got home from flood cleanup Saturday night, sore, stiff and grateful. We both are. Everything in our house looks different after seeing what people down there are dealing with. This morning as he was making breakfast he said, “I’m sure glad our toaster isn’t full of mud,” not something we were [...]

If you really want to wreak havoc with your mortal enemies’ psyches, pump their house full of rabid fruit flies that have no identifiable nesting ground or food source.
The flies will billow in clouds around their heads driving them to:
-flail their arms around spasmodically
-clap loudly at random times
-hit themselves
-scream at invisible flying specs of annoyance
-repeatedly [...]

This poor pumpkin didn’t stand a chance. The conspiracy began when Papa snatched this poor guy right off the street and drug him back to our house.

He carefully sliced a hole in the top of his noggin while Laylee sat heartlessly drawing plans for his new brainless face.

Magoo looked on as papa extracted [...]

The cookie cutter package of childlike goodies goes to ~velia. Congratulations! Anyone else who wants to buy the cookies or other fun items from Kim and Jason can order with free shipping on their site through November 2nd with the coupon code DARINGYOUNGMOM.
I’m still dying, not yet dead. I think my brain [...]