This poor pumpkin didn’t stand a chance. The conspiracy began when Papa snatched this poor guy right off the street and drug him back to our house.
He carefully sliced a hole in the top of his noggin while Laylee sat heartlessly drawing plans for his new brainless face.
Magoo looked on as papa extracted [...]
The cookie cutter package of childlike goodies goes to ~velia. Congratulations! Anyone else who wants to buy the cookies or other fun items from Kim and Jason can order with free shipping on their site through November 2nd with the coupon code DARINGYOUNGMOM.
I’m still dying, not yet dead. I think my brain [...]
Do you have your very own marine biologist to change your Betta fish’s water? I do. I pay her with leftover enchiladas and stories about all the crazy people I’ve known in my life. She likes the stories and I like that when she leaves my house, it’s always cleaner than when [...]
Last night I got 3.5 hours of sleep. Everything seems worse than it probably really is. I wonder if I get more sleep tonight, will the slug guts be automatically cleansed from my foot?
Here are some reasons my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night:
1. I [...]
Spouses? Spice? Spizals?
This Tip Tuesday is about tricking your kids… in a good way… in a way that helps them become better people because they have no clue what’s really going on with their parents… in a way that masks your neuroses so that they can develop neuroses of their own without having [...]
This lovely little book about potty training has done a number on me. Just binging up the topic of potty training now that Magoo’s nearing 2 and a half makes me twitch a little. I delight in the fact that he’s not showing the signs of readiness. Rather than looking forward with [...]
If you walk past a grape on the floor and think, “I should pick that up later,” you will be the one to step on it. Guaranteed.
In the morning they wake up and I feed them food.
They use the food to feed and decorate their pajamas.
I peel the pajamas from their bodies and dress them in “clothes”.
Throughout the day they continue to feed and decorate their “clothes” with slime, food, slug sweat and nasal excretions. Depending on what our next [...]
…this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been able to successfully wink my right eye.
Then again, it’s completely glued and swollen shut so winking my left eye has lost its charm.
Mine screams “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT PUNK!”
I claim the land. They reclaim it. I install patio lights (or Dan installs them but the blog’s about me and they were my idea so I’ll say I install them) and the kids sprinkle tiny sand mounds on [...]
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