Sometimes you have to face facts. Sometimes your fake Christmas tree is just dead. You should not try to resuscitate it. You should not try to meld the stand back together with Super Glue. You may end up gluing your fingers to the tree and then to each other while the tree lies lifelessly in [...]
I’m not talking about The Weathermen, although bombing public places is also sinister. I’m talking about the men and women who predict the weather and then talk about it on television. I’m talking about exhibitionist meteorologists. These people are way too excited about carnage-inducing destructive weather patterns. During the heat wave, you could tell that [...]
I love the idea of Craiglist. You sell things. You buy things. You give away things so that people will haul them away from your house for free. I have been able to give things away on Craigslist that no one on Freecycle was willing to take from me. In theory, Craigslist is just a [...]
Every day when Laylee gets off the bus, she and Magoo run down the hill to our house at top speed, scaring me to death and forcing me to cup my hands and yell, “SLOW DOWN. YOU’LL FALL AND BREAK YOUR ARM.” I mean it in the, “You’ll poke your eye out” sense. I don’t [...]
Today I moved, I really moved for one of the first times in 4 months. Magoo was at preschool a 20-minute walk from our house and there was a smattering of sun peeking through the clouds. I was out of breath in less than a block, surprised at how weak and puny and scrawny and [...]
I have set a limit of four days on this: It’s been three days and today I gave warning. The Stuffed Animal Utopia of Bliss must be dismantled by tomorrow night. “But the animals will be so sad.” “But you set up every toy, stuffed animal, laundry basket, block, doll blanket and interesting-looking household item [...]
