Hymnals are Hilarious

hymnsSo says Magoo.

Not in so many words.

He hinted at it by gasping and squealing loudly every time we opened the green book of joy throughout church today.

Close the book. Silence. Open the book. Shaking, flailing, laughing and gasping for breath. He then proceeded to zerb the book……repeatedly.

If the people in front of us weren’t feeling the Holy Spirit, at least they were feelin’ something. It was my son’s spit. Sorry.

We are pretty much always late for church, but lately we’ve had this goal to go to bed early and get up early, even on weekends, so our body clocks will become more regular. I’m not exactly sure where they’re kept but after 10pm, my stomach starts to tick if I don’t eat some ice cream or nachos, so…….

This morning we got up at 7 and church doesn’t start until 11:30. (Okay! Dan got up at seven and I pretended to cuddle him the way my second dead fish is currently cuddling the plant at the bottom of his bowl. I curled limply around his arm and fell back asleep for 20 minutes.)

That’s 4 hours to get ready, people, and even with the de-mulletization I feel is necessary on the Sabbath, that still leaves at least 30 minutes to get the rest of the family decked out. We were SO going to be on time this morning.

My fatal flaw is this – I always forget to allow extra time for the weird last minute things that come up, right as it’s time to get in the car. This morning they included:

-I had to reassemble Laylee’s car seat from the laundry, due to a big-girl sized accident she had in it last night
-I have a second child
-I’m supposed to wear clothes to church. A slip and knee-highs (yes I said knee-highs) just don’t fit the “dress code.”

With things like this coming up at the last minute, I don’t know how I’m expected to be on time, especially since DYD was driving and let’s just say that HIS special powers are of no use to us when it comes to getting somewhere in a hurry.

For our secret plan today, we decided we HAD TO LEAVE by 11:00, even though it only takes 10 minutes to get there. So when we left at 11:17, fully car-seated, dressed, and dos-childed, we arrived on time, even though we left “late”. Ha HA!

I had second thoughts today about giving out my web address to people I know in real life when I walked in and was greeted with, “Hey. Nice Mullet!” (that is, assuming the person who said that reads my blog and didn’t just see my hair and think it looked like a mullet….)

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