NOT RELATED

One of my sillier film school projects, I thought this script was appropriate to get you pumped for the big sales. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving and be grateful. I know I am. Peace out.

-Kathryn

EXT. MERVYN’S DEPARTMENT STORE – BEFORE DAWN

SAMANTHA, JULIA and DANIEL approach the massive line that is circling around the deparment store. Puffs of breath can be seen rising from all the shoppers into the dark sky. 22 year old SAMANTHA, bundled in a large blue parka with pink earmuffs and huge mittens and boots, smiles as they walk down the line, looking for the end. 10 year old DANIEL is dressed similarily and follows closely on her heals, swaggering like a gangster. They are followed at a distance of about 5 feet by a dead-looking JULIA, age 16.

SAMANTHA

How many people do you think?

JULIA
(whining)
I don’t care. It’s cold.DANIEL
You want some gloves, girl?

JULIA and SAMANTHA look at DANIEL and shake their heads. JULIA pulls her hands up inside the sleeves of her light fall jacket and YAWNS. The three reach the end of the line along a grey brick wall and soon several other people with perturbed expressions on their face file in behind them.

SAMANTHA
Okay. They’re supposed to have700, right? Is that just at this store, or all the locatinos combined because if it’s just here we could be okay.
JULIA
Why again, are we here? I didn’t know my body could move this early in the morning.SAMANTHA
(playfully)
Well, it doesn’t move very fast.

SAMANTHA nudges JULIA with her elbow and JULIA moves up to lean against the wall with an expression of annoyance on her face.

DANIEL
Hey, listen Samster, I’m all about the snow globes. I’m with ya.SAMANTHA
Good, Daniel. I see that. So Jules, what’s going on with you.

JULIA ignores her.

SAMANTHA
So, what’s with this guy you like? Mom says you really like him. What’s his name, Justin?

JULIA
(snotty and annoyed)
His name is Dustin and I don’t like him. He’s my boyfriend.

SAMANTHA
Oooooo…..boyfriend, huh? Do you think you’ll kiss him? Huh, Huh?JULIA
Do I think I’ll kiss him? He’s my boyfriend.

SAMANTHA
I think this calls for a little magic 8.

SAMANTHA pulls her magic 8 ball keychain out of her pocket and begins shaking and twisting it around and raising her eyebrows.

JULIA
You really have no life, do you?SAMANTHA
(shoving her keys back into her pocket)
What do you have against magic 8?

DANIEL
Hey, I love the magic.

SAMANTHA
Um, thanks Daniel. Do you wanna go count how many people in line, see what our chances are?

DANIEL
Sure, I’m down with it.

DANIEL swaggers away with a peace out sign and SAMANTHA stares after him. Without switching her gaze, she begins talking to JULIA.

SAMANTHA
That’s a strange one. Maybe someone should explain to him that he’s white, ten years old and um, not a gangster.

JUILA ignores her. A woman walks up to them, carrying a pad of paper and a pen, awkwardly in her gloved hands. It is beginning to get a little lighter outside.

WOMAN WITH LIST
How many Pokemon?

SAMANTHA and JULIA stare at her in confusion.

WOMAN WITH LIST
I’m about 50 people back. I’m making a tally. How many do you plan to buy?SAMANTHA
(completely confused)
I don’t ….really….

JULIA
We’re not getting anything. WE’RE just here for the snow globes.

WOMAN WITH LIST rolls her eyes and walks on to the next person in line.

SAMANTHA
Do you think we could each make it through the line twice? Mom wants us to get enough for all the brothers on her side. So, that’s Jim, Jeff, Joel, Rick….JULIA
They’ve all seen the commercial. They’re gonna know that she got ”˜em for free.

SAMANTHA
I haven’t seen the commercial.

JULIA
You live in a bubble. When’s the last time you watched TV at school?

SAMANTHA looks away defensive, trying to think of something to say.

SAMANTHA
Well, I have a lot of studying to do. Anyway, I don’t think they’ll care. Mom says they’re adoreable and you don’t like a gift just because it costs a lot.JULIA
Yeah…….ya do.

SAMANTHA
(with a superior tone of voice)
Well, that’s a very selfish attitude, Julia Lynn. I hope you don’t really mean that.

A half-CHEER, half-SIGH goes up from the crowd as the doors are openned and the line of tired shoppers crowd closer together. Women take a last glace at their flyers and tuck them into their purses, rousing their husbands to action. DANIEL saunters back towards his sisters, as if he had all the time in the world.

SAMANTHA
Oh, Daniel good. Okay, how many?DANIEL
Chill. Looks to me like there’s about 500. We should be set.

A mean lady has been listening to their conversation from behind them and steps up to confront SAMANTHA.

MEAN LADY
There’s more than that. I know you’re all related and don’t think I’m gonna stand for this.

SAMANTHA
Okay.

MEAN LADY
The sign says, one per family.JULIA
I’ve never seen these people before in my life.

SAMANTHA looks shocked.

SAMANTHA
Julia! Um, I mean, yeah me neither.

MEAN LADY
Is that so? Then why did you let that little boy bud in line with you?The line has been continuously moving and the door is now in sight but still very far off.

JULIA
He’s all alone in the world. We just couldn’t turn him away ma’am, not at Christmas time.

MEAN LADY
Well, um……it’s not right.

DANIEL
I-JULIA places her hand over his mouth.

JULIA
Merry Christmas.

JULIA turns around to face the front again and releases DANIEL from her grasp who folds his arms and looks perturbed. SAMANTHA turns and WHISPERS to her.

SAMANTHA
That was good. How did you-JULIA
(to SAMANTHA)
I’m sorry ma’am. It was great meeting you but I’d rather not talk just now.

SAMANTHA winks and turns to face straight ahead as well.

SAMANTHA
Oooooo. Okay, ma’am. That’s fine with me.

JULIA rolls her eyes. The line continues to inch forward.

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2 Responses to NOT RELATED

  1. Tess says:

    how very very appropos – I hope there is a to be continued for what really happens!!

  2. falwyn says:

    This is awesome… The english major in me wants desperately to analyze it … like how Julia in the end pitches in, sides with the family … but the tryptophan is kicking in, so I’ll stick with awesome.

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