My Life is so Exciting I Need to Sit Down

boneToday I found broken glass, a rusty screwdriver, a board with protruding nails and a large leg bone* behind the bamboo in our backyard. It took a few minutes for the creepy music to die down and then I calmed myself with the thought that someone in the neighborhood would have told me if a 3-foot-tall, weight-lifting midget had been murdered in my back yard. Now I’m wondering if Mother Hubbard is taking donations.

A few nights ago I dared Dan to call Korea and he said, “I don’t even know how to call Korea.”

So I googled “CALL KOREA” and voila, he had no choice. Heads up — server administrators in Korea who are hosting illegal phishing websites will pretend not to speak English. And then they will hang up on you, even if you’re the cutest boy. But it will be okay because your wife will still be proud of you for taking a dare and trying to save the world.

Today Laylee told Grammy that when Uncle Adam’s baby is born, we’ll know whether or not it’s a girl because if it’s a girl, it’ll wear a dress to church. Duh! I say we just abolish ultrasounds as a means of determining gender and we certainly won’t be needing THESE THINGS.

Dan let the kids drink the “corn water” from the Niblets can. This is apparently a delicacy in some households.

Being both a geek and a mom, I helped build a bridge.

Magoo colored his face with an orange marker.

Laylee held a worm with gloves on. (Laylee wore the gloves. The worm didn’t have any hands.)

Oprah made me cry.

Eve made me lunch.

You can fit 4 snails into the pocket of a pair of 4T capri pants. Coincidence? I think not.

*Updated – Dan thought I should mention that I took the bone picture late at night with my camera flash. My back yard is huge and unlit so I stumbled along the fence in my crocks, taking a picture every few feet and checking to see if I’d captured the body part yet. It only took me 4 tries to get this fabulous shot. And I didn’t even step on any rusty nails in the process.

This entry was posted in Random. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to My Life is so Exciting I Need to Sit Down

Comments are closed.