What Does Your Landscaping Say About You?

Mine screams “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT PUNK!”

I claim the land. They reclaim it. I install patio lights (or Dan installs them but the blog’s about me and they were my idea so I’ll say I install them) and the kids sprinkle tiny sand mounds on the solar panels of each one.

sand mounds

Sometimes they run into the patio lights with their tractors and trikes until they lean over to one side.

Evolution at work

One by one the rocks along our pathway are changing colors. I think they’re evolving to blend in with the surrounding plastic play equipment, buckets and general hookie-loo lying around.

Yo Yo GnomieThis gnome makes me happy because it reminds me of Magoo, just not quite as fast or loud. Sometimes when I’m counting off to make sure all 2 of my children are accounted for, my tally gets messed up by his presence amidst the ivy.

The other day I was sitting on the lawn when Laylee came up behind me and said, “Mom look!” I made the mistake of looking. I turned my head to find her holding a severed rotting bird head by the beak just inches from my face.

I screamed. She laughed. Magoo became fascinated with the rest of the birdy’s remainders and all of its buggy friends.

OH!  WOOK!  A BUGS!!

In most yards, a dead rotting bird head would be considered a bad thing. Around here, it’s a barrel of maggoty good times.

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24 Responses to What Does Your Landscaping Say About You?

  1. Love your blog. You have such a talent for writing! Oh, the bird head thing is gross. I would definitely have screamed, too!

  2. Veronica says:

    “a barrel of maggoty good times”
    Kids really know how to party, don’t they?

    We have feral cats who contribute the occasional rotting carcass of fun to our yard. I just love those cats.

  3. Jill says:

    Holy moly that is foul! Why do kids want to play with that stuff. Why didn’t anyone warn us about these parenting “moments”

  4. Oh, that’s a good one.

    Our backyard adventures include a boy who ate an earthworm. He actually went back for a second bite, if you can imagine.

  5. Thea says:

    Ew, ew, eeewww! I just don’t get it! Handfuls of dirt is bad enough!!

  6. Kimberly says:

    Oh the things I have to look forward to!

  7. Nantie Meg says:

    The gnome’s twin lives at my house, and his name is murphy. I had a friend from italy who would say hi to murphy after saying hi to all of us. It was kind of fun because he really couldn’t pronounce it correctly, but it was fun all the same.

    Oh and … GROSS!!

  8. Liz says:

    bwahahahahaha!!! maggoty goodness :snort:

  9. Pam in Utah says:

    Hey there! It must be a bad week for birds, as we’ve had the same thing happen here this week! Minus the toddler delight! Oh, and I am wondering what you are going to speak on at Blogher? I just barely noticed the “I’m speaking at” part of the blogher advertisement. How fun! You’ll be great!

  10. Eve says:

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  11. MyBestInvest says:

    You know how they say a dog’s mouth actually has less germs than a human’s? I’m pretty sure that’s true of rotting bird carcasses, too. I think you’re hard pressed to find something with LESS germs than a decaying bird.

  12. grammyelin says:

    So sorry and EEEWWW!!!

  13. Sketchy says:

    ICK!!! I don’t know about your house, but my house these things always happened when Dad – in my opinion the official remover of all dead animals – is gone!!! So the choice is allow the children to play with the dead thing or handle it myself. But I have to say that I never took a picture of one before…then again that was mostly before I started blogging, who knows now, maybe I would.

  14. Sarah says:

    Ha! That was really funny AND gross!

  15. bee says:

    My landscaping says “We’re renters!”

  16. heather says:

    EW! Here in the desert we have this thing called Xeriscaping, which means Ugly in some strange desert language. My yard has a cactus tree type thing in it and it is covered in a layer of rock that can best be described as kitty litter. But, I use very little water…

    What I wouldn’t give to have your lush green ivy (um, but you can keep the bird)!

  17. Mary C says:

    Oh my goodness. That is the funniest and the most horrible thing I have read in a long time! You are so dang funny, sister.

    Bird flu, here we come!

  18. Sarah says:

    Ok did you notice how Magoo and the gnome are striking quite similar poses?

  19. jen says:

    Ewewewewewewewewew!!!!! Think the gnome took out the bird? LOL

  20. MamaLady says:

    Yuck-eeee! Normally I would say it’s a boy thing. But since your girl was the instigator….
    I have pretty much given up on landscaping too. Between the weeds and kids doing what they do best, it’s just too difficult to keep up.

  21. ZaCarrie says:

    My “landscaping” says “I don’t like to landscape.”

    Magoo’s face in the pictures looks like he’s thinking, “She’s really letting me sit next to the bird? (As soon as she looks away I’m going to touch it.)”

  22. Shalee says:

    oh-oh…

    My landscape would say that I’m a mass murderer… and that my favorite color is brown.

  23. Kristi says:

    That last picture caught me off guard. How funny!

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